The werewerewolf

[sniffnoy]

Interviewer: So, you're a werewolf.

Werewerewolf: Well, not quite. I'm a werewerewolf.

Interviewer: A werewerewolf?

Werewerewolf: Yes.

Interviewer: How does that work?

Werewerewolf: Well, when the full moon comes out, I change into a werewolf.

Interviewer: I'm a bit unclear as to what that means, concretely. So you don't change into a wolf?

Werewerewolf: Well, I change into a werewolf, but it is true that as a werewolf, I change into a wolf.

Interviewer: But if you change into a wolf under a full moon, doesn't that make you a werewolf?

Werewerewolf: No, I'm only a werewolf under a full moon.

Interviewer: But it all works out the same ultimately, right?

Werewerewolf: Well, you see, the werewolves, under the full moon, they're wolves. I'm a wolf *and* a werewolf.

Interviewer: But in that state, they're *also* both wolves and werewolves!

Werewerewolf: True, but under the full moon I'm all of a wolf, a werewolf, *and* a werewerewolf.

Interviewer: Look, so under the full moon you're a wolf--

Werewerewolf: And a werewolf!

Interviewer: And a werewolf, yes. And otherwise you're a person.

Werewerewolf: And a werewerewolf.

Interviewer: Right. So, ultimately, you occupy the same shapes at the same times that werewolves do. Am I missing something?

Werewerewolf: Definitely.

Interviewer: Which is...?

Werewerewolf: That I'm a werewerewolf.

Interviewer: If I had another werewolf on here--

Werewerewolf: You mean if you had a werewolf on here.

Interviewer: Right, of course. If I had a werewolf on here, would they be able to tell that you're a werewerewolf and not a werewolf?

Werewerewolf: Oh, yeah. They, uh... I'm actually not allowed to join the werewolf packs. Because I'm not one, you see.

Interviewer: Oh really?

Werewerewolf: Oh yeah. "No wereweres", they say. It's a rule.

Interviewer: And how can they tell you're a werewere?

Werewerewolf: Please don't call me that. It's considered pejorative.

Interviewer: Oh, sorry. Um, how can they tell you're a werewerewolf?

Werewerewolf: I mean they know me, it's well-known.

Interviewer: Not to me...

Werewerewolf: Well, that's hardly my fault. You know now.

Interviewer: But what if a werewerewolf were to come visit from out of town? How would the werewolves tell?

Werewerewolf: Well, because under a full moon, instead of turning into a wolf, they'd turn into a werewolf.

Interviewer: And how would they tell the difference?

Werewerewolf: Look, if you can't tell the difference between a wolf and a werewolf--

Interviewer: Ordinarily I can but during a full moon I sure can't!

Werewerewolf: Really? Are you a werebat? Because that would certainly explain--

Interviewer: No, I'm not a werebat!

Werewerewolf: Maybe just a wereidiot, then.

Interviewer: OK, I think we've had enough here. Um, thanks for coming on here, now please get out.

Werewerewolf: Yeah, sure. Thanks for having me on your stupid show.

Interviewer: Bite me.

Werewerewolf: If I get a chance, I will!

Interviewer: When you're a wolf, you mean.

Werewerewolf: When I'm a werewolf. [Werewerewolf exits.]

Comments

[sniffnoy]

I mean it's pretty rare for me to *write* fiction. And this was banged out in maybe like half an hour with only a small amount of editing, probably it could be tightened up and made funnier. But uh basically how this came about was, y'know, somehow doubling prefixes (like "meta-meta-") and werewolves were both on my mind, I realized that a werewerewolf would act essentially like a werewolf, and I was like, hm, this could be a comedy sketch. And then having pointless squabbling between different sorts of monsters was heavily inspired by having recently watched "What We Do in the Shadows". :P Obviously it's funnier if the different factions are completely indistinguishable to an outsider, to the point where it's not clear if there's any real difference at all! I mean, that's an old form of joke, but here's a place to apply it. "Bite me" was serendipity, I put that down over something more obscene and then afterward realized that it fit with the werewolf theme and could be riffed on. So uh yeah that's basically how this came about.