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sniffnoySo the other day I got a package from my company containing Christmas gifts from them. The place I work for is called "Truffle" and we like giving things a chocolate or candy theme (not the mushroom). And so when I opened it up among the presents was a box of chocolates.
Also among the presents was a fairly large, bricklike, brown... thing. I wasn't sure just what it was, but it looked edible, and it looked like chocolate of some kind too. And the label mentioned, among other things, that it was vegan, which suggests edibility. Well -- I opened this just before going to bed, so I didn't have any of it then, but I resolved to tomorrow. (In fact, the label actually said what it was, but it was off to the side and in low contrast, and I missed it.)
And so the next morning I took this mysterious probably-candy brick, bit into it... and found it to be the worst thing I had ever tasted. Horribly, horribly spicy, way beyond what I could tolerate, but without any, like, actual other flavor. I spit out what I easily could spit out, but I somehow swallowed the rest. Then I drank a bunch of water, ate a bunch of Cheerios, and threw out the rest of this... evil food. This was the opposite of what food should be; it should not be left anywhere that I or anyone else might find it, it needed to go in the trash.
Some of you have probably already guessed what it actually was -- but I still hadn't! I was still thinking of it as some evil food that needed a warning label on it, still wondering how the company could have sent this out as a gift without that. So when I signed on to Slack that day, first thing I did was I asked the person who sent out the gifts what on earth that thing was.
It was soap. I had bitten into a bar of soap.
As mentioned, the label had in fact said "soap", but in white-on-cyan, and off to the side. (Also, today I told this story at a meeting and it turned out a coworker's mom had made the same mistake as me!)
Anyway it was only a little bit so I was fine afterward! But anyway don't eat soap, it's evil food. :P
Also among the presents was a fairly large, bricklike, brown... thing. I wasn't sure just what it was, but it looked edible, and it looked like chocolate of some kind too. And the label mentioned, among other things, that it was vegan, which suggests edibility. Well -- I opened this just before going to bed, so I didn't have any of it then, but I resolved to tomorrow. (In fact, the label actually said what it was, but it was off to the side and in low contrast, and I missed it.)
And so the next morning I took this mysterious probably-candy brick, bit into it... and found it to be the worst thing I had ever tasted. Horribly, horribly spicy, way beyond what I could tolerate, but without any, like, actual other flavor. I spit out what I easily could spit out, but I somehow swallowed the rest. Then I drank a bunch of water, ate a bunch of Cheerios, and threw out the rest of this... evil food. This was the opposite of what food should be; it should not be left anywhere that I or anyone else might find it, it needed to go in the trash.
Some of you have probably already guessed what it actually was -- but I still hadn't! I was still thinking of it as some evil food that needed a warning label on it, still wondering how the company could have sent this out as a gift without that. So when I signed on to Slack that day, first thing I did was I asked the person who sent out the gifts what on earth that thing was.
It was soap. I had bitten into a bar of soap.
As mentioned, the label had in fact said "soap", but in white-on-cyan, and off to the side. (Also, today I told this story at a meeting and it turned out a coworker's mom had made the same mistake as me!)
Anyway it was only a little bit so I was fine afterward! But anyway don't eat soap, it's evil food. :P
no subject
Date: 2018-12-22 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-22 06:24 pm (UTC)(Edit: The more serious answer is that "evil food" is what I thought of it as when I thought it was food. Not what I'm actually claiming it actually is.)