It's that time again: Squid Apocalypse!

[sniffnoy]

It all started with me talking to Shuo on AIM and having the idea of replacing various words in common phrases with "squid". (E.g. "universal serial squid".) (No log is provided, as it's not that interesting.)

But that led to this conversation with Mickey:

[Mickey is talking about the Paranoia game mentioned previously]
(12:03:07 AM) grenadier32: Or maybe just leave a few fields on the character sheet blank
(12:03:34 AM) Sniffnoy: m
(12:05:39 AM) Sniffnoy: fields of squid!
(12:06:08 AM) grenadier32: Dried or chewy?
(12:06:16 AM) Sniffnoy: I'm... not certain
(12:06:30 AM) Sniffnoy: I guess it depends on the weather
(12:06:34 AM) Sniffnoy: and how long they've been there
(12:06:47 AM) grenadier32: How long have they been there?
(12:07:09 AM) Sniffnoy: well they can't all have arrived simultaneously
(12:07:14 AM) Sniffnoy: so considering how many there are
(12:07:20 AM) Sniffnoy: some must have been here a very long time
(12:08:05 AM) Sniffnoy: I would think a few days, at least
(12:08:27 AM) grenadier32: Hm
(12:08:31 AM) grenadier32: What put them there?
(12:08:33 AM) grenadier32: The water?
(12:09:38 AM) Sniffnoy: maybe a dump truck?
(12:09:41 AM) Sniffnoy: made of water?
(12:10:00 AM) grenadier32: Hm
(12:12:50 AM) Sniffnoy: or an ocean made of dump trucks?
(12:13:06 AM) grenadier32: All full of water...
(12:13:06 AM) Sniffnoy <AUTO-REPLY>: Huh? What?
(12:13:15 AM) Sniffnoy: quite possibly!
(12:13:26 AM) grenadier32: With pipes between them!
(12:13:31 AM) Sniffnoy: pipes?
(12:14:39 AM) grenadier32: So that things in the water can move between them!
(12:15:50 AM) grenadier32: Like fish
(12:15:52 AM) grenadier32: And squid
(12:15:53 AM) Sniffnoy: like jellyfish?
(12:16:04 AM) Sniffnoy: hm, do you think the pipes broke and dumped all the squid here?
(12:16:11 AM) grenadier32: It is possible
(12:16:31 AM) grenadier32: It would be an interesting task to keep the pipes in place across a network of trucks
(12:17:00 AM) Sniffnoy: especially if they're moving
(12:17:48 AM) grenadier32: Exactly
(12:19:21 AM) grenadier32: How would that work?
(12:19:28 AM) grenadier32: All the trucks would have to move at the same speed
(12:19:43 AM) Sniffnoy: even stretchy pipes could only work for so long
(12:20:01 AM) Sniffnoy: unless they included some way to notify the trucks they were being stretched too much?
(12:20:15 AM) Sniffnoy: an automatic negative feedback system?
(12:20:19 AM) Sniffnoy: well not quite automatic
(12:20:27 AM) Sniffnoy: as it relies on the truck drivers to adjust appropriately
(12:20:52 AM) grenadier32: Perhaps
(12:20:57 AM) grenadier32: This system is getting complicated
(12:21:05 AM) grenadier32: Wouldn't it be a lot simpler to just have much bigger vessels? :-P
(12:21:25 AM) Sniffnoy: maybe
(12:29:07 AM) Sniffnoy: like, say, trucks of trucks?
(12:29:27 AM) grenadier32: Arrays of trucks
(12:29:27 AM) Sniffnoy <AUTO-REPLY>: Huh? What?
(12:29:43 AM) Sniffnoy: 2D arrays of trucks; trucks of trucks of trucks
(12:29:53 AM) grenadier32: Yep
(12:30:03 AM) grenadier32: Linked lists of trucks would perhaps be better
(12:30:08 AM) grenadier32: Although then it might be better to call them trains
(12:30:20 AM) Sniffnoy: hm indeed
(12:30:23 AM) Sniffnoy: trains of trucks
(12:33:02 AM) Sniffnoy: actually trains I think are generally doubly-linked
(12:34:16 AM) grenadier32: True
(12:34:24 AM) Sniffnoy: which is probably a good thing
(12:34:29 AM) Sniffnoy: as it helps keep the squid in

Which gave me an idea for, well, I think you know what by now.

ADan did not respond:

(02:05:45 AM) Sniffnoy: trucks
(02:05:49 AM) Sniffnoy: connected by pipes
(02:05:50 AM) Sniffnoy: full of squid
(02:06:03 AM) Sniffnoy: stretchy pipes
(02:06:43 AM) Sniffnoy: connecting the dump trucks
(02:06:50 AM) Sniffnoy: if they break, the squid will be everywhere
(02:06:57 AM) Sniffnoy: and the jellyfish

But Ethan did:

(02:11:43 AM) Tavgfrg: trucks
(02:11:46 AM) Tavgfrg: connected by pipes
(02:11:52 AM) Tavgfrg: filled with squid
(02:12:09 AM) hunterslayer04: wait...but if it's a big truck connected by tubes, is that the internet or not?
(02:12:11 AM) hunterslayer04: *confused*
(02:12:13 AM) Tavgfrg: huh
(02:12:16 AM) Tavgfrg: I hadn't thought of that
(02:12:27 AM) Tavgfrg: that is a problem
(02:12:33 AM) Tavgfrg: well
(02:12:40 AM) Tavgfrg: are there squid on the internet?
(02:12:42 AM) Tavgfrg: I guess there are
(02:12:49 AM) Tavgfrg: so I don't think that helps us resolve it
(02:12:58 AM) hunterslayer04: lol
(02:13:17 AM) Tavgfrg: well the question then is
(02:13:24 AM) Tavgfrg: is it something you can just dump something on?
(02:13:37 AM) Tavgfrg: and that's hard to say
(02:13:51 AM) Tavgfrg: because I mean
(02:13:55 AM) Tavgfrg: if you just dump something on it
(02:13:58 AM) Tavgfrg: it won't get in the tubes
(02:14:03 AM) Tavgfrg: but if the trucks are dump trucks
(02:14:09 AM) Tavgfrg: then you might be able to get away with it anyway
(02:14:15 AM) hunterslayer04: true
(02:14:26 AM) hunterslayer04: so basically it's dependent on whether or not the trucks are dump trucks
(02:14:33 AM) hunterslayer04: if they're dump trucks, then it's not the internet, otherwise it is
(02:14:39 AM) hunterslayer04: does this seem valid to you?
(02:14:51 AM) Tavgfrg: well if they are dump trucks, it's not necessarily the internet
(02:15:03 AM) Tavgfrg: well the tubes have to be filled with water, for the squid
(02:15:07 AM) Tavgfrg: and the internet is not filled with water
(02:15:12 AM) Tavgfrg: so I think it's probably not the internet
(02:15:17 AM) hunterslayer04: ah, but the internet is not something that you just dump stuff on
(02:15:28 AM) hunterslayer04: so if you can just dump something on it then it can't be the internet
(02:15:31 AM) Tavgfrg: right
(02:15:34 AM) hunterslayer04: hence, if they're dump trucks, not the internet
(02:15:41 AM) hunterslayer04: but you make a valid point for why it might not be anyway
(02:16:03 AM) hunterslayer04: actually, if the tubes are full then that's an argument that it _is_ the internet
(02:16:26 AM) Tavgfrg: hm
(02:16:30 AM) Tavgfrg: but full of water?
(02:16:36 AM) hunterslayer04: good point
(02:16:43 AM) hunterslayer04: I think this is very unclear
(02:17:13 AM) hunterslayer04: maybe we should just declare that it is decisively _not_ the internet if they're dump trucks and it is unclear otherwise
(02:17:27 AM) Tavgfrg: maybe we should send a scout
(02:17:32 AM) Tavgfrg: to determine if they're dump trucks
(02:17:35 AM) Tavgfrg: get that resolved first
(02:17:41 AM) hunterslayer04: ok

And so did Linda Cai:

(02:07:46 AM) Sniffnoy: trucks
(02:07:49 AM) Sniffnoy: connected by pipes
(02:07:54 AM) laquamarine7: trains?
(02:07:55 AM) Sniffnoy: full of squid
(02:07:59 AM) Sniffnoy: the trucks are on trains
(02:08:04 AM) Sniffnoy: truck-trains
(02:08:07 AM) Sniffnoy: for carrying trucks
(02:08:12 AM) Sniffnoy: for carrying squid
(02:08:40 AM) laquamarine7: squidnoy
(02:09:15 AM) Sniffnoy: no
(02:09:17 AM) Sniffnoy: I am no squid
(02:09:30 AM) Sniffnoy: I would not fit in the pipes
(02:09:34 AM) Sniffnoy: even though they are stretchy
(02:09:42 AM) laquamarine7: you are not compressible?
(02:09:46 AM) Sniffnoy: not very
(02:10:37 AM) Sniffnoy: not enough
(02:10:47 AM) Sniffnoy: also I cannot breathe underwater
(02:11:12 AM) Sniffnoy: and the pipes have to be filled with water obviously
(02:13:00 AM) Sniffnoy: we don't want dead squid
(02:13:37 AM) laquamarine7: can they escape?
(02:14:24 AM) Sniffnoy: I don't think so
(02:14:30 AM) Sniffnoy: but I don't know
(02:15:35 AM) Sniffnoy: I mean
(02:15:38 AM) Sniffnoy: I haven't seen any escape
(02:15:52 AM) laquamarine7: excellent
(02:15:57 AM) Sniffnoy: and I would think it would be hard, because where could they escape without a leak?
(02:16:01 AM) Sniffnoy: but squid can be tricky
(02:16:11 AM) laquamarine7: i have watched videos of octopi
(02:16:16 AM) Sniffnoy: oh are the trucks stopping by you?
(02:16:17 AM) laquamarine7: but not many of squid
(02:16:25 AM) laquamarine7: no, i am stopping by them
(02:16:45 AM) Sniffnoy: oh
(02:16:48 AM) Sniffnoy: under the tent?
(02:19:49 AM) Sniffnoy: or where?
(02:20:48 AM) laquamarine7: in the sky
(02:20:56 AM) Sniffnoy: !
(02:21:05 AM) Sniffnoy: how will you get there? how will they get there?
(02:21:19 AM) laquamarine7: the plane
(02:21:24 AM) laquamarine7: by plane, i mean
(02:21:48 AM) Sniffnoy: I would think a balloon would be more fitting in this case
(02:23:37 AM) Sniffnoy: otherwise you might crash
(02:24:30 AM) laquamarine7: balloons can crash too
(02:24:36 AM) Sniffnoy: true
(02:24:53 AM) Sniffnoy: maybe if you had a Harrier jet
(02:25:48 AM) Sniffnoy: that might be best
(02:28:25 AM) laquamarine7: i don't : (
(02:28:59 AM) Sniffnoy: do the truck drivers?
(02:34:24 AM) laquamarine7: I don't think so
(02:34:38 AM) Sniffnoy: hmmm
(02:35:25 AM) Sniffnoy: are you taking the same plane?
(02:37:15 AM) laquamarine7: the same as?
(02:37:23 AM) laquamarine7: not the drivers, unfortunately
(02:37:49 AM) Sniffnoy: I am confused how you intend to trade with them
(02:37:55 AM) Sniffnoy: will it be by radio?
(02:37:57 AM) Sniffnoy: a radio dance?
(02:39:40 AM) laquamarine7: no, i'm still contemplating
(02:39:44 AM) laquamarine7: i'm not a very good planner
(02:40:20 AM) Sniffnoy: *nods*

And so did Xiao:

(02:33:51 AM) Sniffnoy: trucks
(02:33:55 AM) Sniffnoy: connected by pipes
(02:33:58 AM) Sniffnoy: full of squid
(02:34:17 AM) Sniffnoy: stretchy pipes
(02:34:29 AM) Sniffnoy: full of water of course
(02:34:32 AM) Sniffnoy: for the squid
(02:34:34 AM) NAR8789: of course
(02:34:53 AM) NAR8789: wouldn't want your squid to up and leave
(02:35:03 AM) Sniffnoy: right
(02:35:13 AM) Sniffnoy: same reason they're stretchy
(02:35:48 AM) NAR8789: squid demands a high standard in its living conditions
(02:36:09 AM) Sniffnoy: that's probably why their on the trucks
(02:36:13 AM) Sniffnoy: they're*
(02:36:33 AM) Sniffnoy: it's like the squid search mission, after a Squid Apocalypse
(02:36:34 AM) Sniffnoy: maybe
(02:36:51 AM) NAR8789: I think that's pretty likely
(02:37:21 AM) Sniffnoy: do you suppose they learned how to drive trucks, or they found people to do it for them?
(02:37:44 AM) NAR8789: hmmmm that's a good question
(02:37:57 AM) NAR8789: I imagine the first trucks were people-operated
(02:38:24 AM) NAR8789: but later the squids finagled a way of driving them themselves
(02:38:38 AM) Sniffnoy: especially since the pipes are stretchy
(02:38:43 AM) Sniffnoy: they're probably quite extensible
(02:38:52 AM) Sniffnoy: they probably extended the pipes into the drivers' seats
(02:38:53 AM) NAR8789: yeah, exactly
(02:40:12 AM) Sniffnoy: they probably do have to stop every now and then to exchange their dirty water with clean water
(02:40:32 AM) NAR8789: true true. another reason they have to have the trucks
(02:40:43 AM) NAR8789: after the squid apocalypse I imagine that's in short supply
(02:41:56 AM) Sniffnoy: hm, I didn't think it was so widespread... do you suppose their are other fleets of stretchy-pipe-trucks?
(02:42:09 AM) Sniffnoy: no, other squid that escaped probably did so by a different method
(02:42:20 AM) Sniffnoy: balloons maybe?
(02:42:36 AM) NAR8789: hmmm... perhaps
(02:43:01 AM) NAR8789: oo I know, they took a large portion of the water which is why its so scarce for the squids in trucks
(02:43:26 AM) NAR8789: but the balloon squids have to find buoyant gasses to stay afloat
(02:43:27 AM) Sniffnoy: that's true, they wouldn't all have escaped with the same resources
(02:43:50 AM) Sniffnoy: that would necessarily shape their mode of transport
(02:44:00 AM) Sniffnoy: I bet there's squid that have build giant tanks out of rocks
(02:44:35 AM) Sniffnoy: pirate squid
(02:44:56 AM) NAR8789: ooo scourge of the land they are
(02:45:05 AM) Sniffnoy: but they would have had to have escaped rather late for that to be an effective strategy
(02:45:15 AM) Sniffnoy: so they're probably all mutant pirate squid
(02:45:29 AM) NAR8789: true true
(02:46:18 AM) NAR8789: not only do they pillage for resources, but also out of spite, for being left behind
(02:47:33 AM) Sniffnoy: oh yes, you don't want to have even been near any other squid should they come around
(02:48:53 AM) NAR8789: euh... why's that?
(02:49:18 AM) Sniffnoy: well I mean, they don't like people who might have been helping their enemies
(02:49:23 AM) Sniffnoy: I mean, it means they have less stuff to steal
(02:49:27 AM) NAR8789: ah I see
(02:49:28 AM) Sniffnoy: but they're probably not very smart anyway
(02:49:37 AM) NAR8789: aye true
(02:49:56 AM) NAR8789: poor mentally stunted mutant pirate squids
(02:50:10 AM) Sniffnoy: but deadly!
(02:50:22 AM) NAR8789: aye, ture
(02:50:26 AM) NAR8789: er- true
(02:51:51 AM) NAR8789: I'll bet half their viciousness is due to not being able to construct tubes as stretchy as those the truck squid have
(02:52:18 AM) Sniffnoy: I'm surprised they haven't gotten their hands on some of that yet
(02:52:28 AM) Sniffnoy: I suppose the truck squid must retract it in case of an attack
(02:53:00 AM) NAR8789: well they sometimes do get their hands on it, but they don't know how to maintain it
(02:53:30 AM) Sniffnoy: I didn't realize it was so complicate
(02:53:31 AM) Sniffnoy: d
(02:53:46 AM) NAR8789: well yes, without proper care, stretchy tubes get all crusty
(02:54:02 AM) NAR8789: and squids hate crusty tubes
(02:55:09 AM) NAR8789: especially mutant squid. they're kinda lumpy, so tube stretchiness is extra important
(02:55:09 AM) Sniffnoy: I bet the pirates are OK with them though
(02:55:22 AM) Sniffnoy: oh, I hadn't considered that
(02:55:42 AM) NAR8789: well it's all they ever know, so they don't think to want better
(02:55:53 AM) NAR8789: but it does make them ornerier
(02:57:36 AM) Sniffnoy: what do you suppose they do with it? if they don't realize it's bad for them, maybe they use it as armor
(02:58:57 AM) NAR8789: ah that's quite possible. I imagine pirate squid are better fighters with their less stretchy tubes
(02:59:19 AM) NAR8789: I suppose that also helps encourage the pirate squid to hunt truck squid as opposed to each other
(03:00:00 AM) Sniffnoy: I imagine hunting other pirate squid is just too hard most of the time anyway
(03:00:24 AM) NAR8789: aye, and the resources you get out of them are lower quality
(03:00:24 AM) Sniffnoy: they're more prepared for a fight, and less likely to be carrying excess useful things stored for later
(03:00:30 AM) NAR8789: exactly
(03:02:04 AM) Sniffnoy: I guess that's the benefit of being a balloon squid
(03:02:24 AM) Sniffnoy: you have a harder time trading with other squid
(03:02:45 AM) Sniffnoy: but you're less likely to get stolen from
(03:02:52 AM) NAR8789: yeah
(03:03:19 AM) NAR8789: although... the balloon squid also have less tube real estate. they've put that material into the balloons
(03:03:48 AM) Sniffnoy: but it makes sense - since they have a hard time trading, they need more storage space, and so will have less living space anyway
(03:04:04 AM) NAR8789: yeah
(03:05:28 AM) NAR8789: actually the truck squid have a particularly hard time with theft. balloon squid low on resources have been known to steer their failing balloons down on top of truck squid in part simply to steal tubing for patch material
(03:05:49 AM) Sniffnoy: ooh I didn't consider that strategy
(03:06:20 AM) NAR8789: luckily such raids are rarely successful, as a squid balloon low on resources also has relatively little to fight with
(03:06:35 AM) Sniffnoy: huh
(03:06:58 AM) Sniffnoy: but if they just go and steal some outlying stuff, the truck squid will probably not be able to react in time to stop them
(03:07:07 AM) NAR8789: that's true
(03:07:24 AM) Sniffnoy: especially since they won't be watching for such attacks most of the time, seeing as they're pretty rare in the first place
(03:07:56 AM) NAR8789: yeah especially from the air. I imagine truck squid are much more wary of pirate squid
(03:08:45 AM) NAR8789: and people (and squid) have an odd tendency not think to look up a lot of the time
(03:09:21 AM) Sniffnoy: right

-Harry