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sniffnoyFact of the day: Nobody actually makes tinfoil anymore, apparently. It's all aluminum. I always thought that there was tinfoil and aluminumfoil, and that they were both used, and that they were different somehow, but I didn't know how to tell the difference. Nope. Apparently it's all aluminum, and has been ever since they invented aluminumfoil, since real tinfoil is much softer and would come apart in your hands.
Most of the rest of this entry has to do with potato grenades.
There's this freshman on our bus[5] named David, who sits right behind the seniors, about. Anyway one day I decided that our bus was apparently fighting a war against several other buses and asked him (or rather, commanded him) to hand me some potato grenades.
He didn't have any. "How are we supposed to defend ourselves against the other buses if we don't have any potato grenades?!" I asked.
He didn't have any the next day either. He forgot, he said.
Eventually he started saying things like "he didn't know how to make them" - don't bother making them yourself! Just go and buy them! Or "Well, I have *one*" - what good is *one* potato grenade?! We need more like 100! Or "I have potatoes, does that count?" or "I can't combine the potatoes with the grenades!" - GOOD! You do *not* make potato grenades by combining potatoes with grenades! Very bad idea, very dangerous! I tried it once!
A few days ago I assigned the freshman who usually sits next to him to hit him every day he did not bring the potato grenades.
So today, I get on the bus and David hands me a potato grenade.[0] It's only one, but it'll have to do.[3] I appoint RJ to be our potato grenadier. He doesn't want to do it, though[4], so Choketsu and then Ingrid becomes our potato grenadier. Eventually it ends up in the hands of... well, I don't know who, but suffice it to say that our sole potato grenade was being wasted quite badly - being thrown at other people *within the bus itself*. After a bit it split into two, whereupon Tom commented "Look, it's Harry!" and Choketsu put one half on my head, where it stayed for a bit before falling off. So of course then the halves were thrown at people.
I generally wasn't involved. Towards the end, however, George threw a potato-part right at me. It missed; Tom and Choketsu told me to throw it back, saying RJ had thrown it. (Or perhaps RJ *did* throw it. Regardless...) I threw it straight at RJ, hitting him right on the head. George then tried to throw it at me again, only to hit the *bus driver*! She then proceeded to shout at us a bit, and soon we arrived home.
At the end, it turned out that it was in fact not David who brought in the potato grenade, but the kid assigned to hit him. Since David did not bring it in, I had the kid hit him anyway. Then I said, enough potato grenades, time for you to start on your next assignment (which actually I had given him a while back): to determine all linear transformations T:R³→R³ st Tx × Ty = T(x×y) ∀x,y∈R³. Of course he doesn't even know what most of that means, but do I care? :D
On a similar note, Tom, a couple of weeks back, told Eugene to find out what's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice. Today, finally, after Tom bugging him for weeks about it, he came up to us at lunch and said, "What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zeber's Lemon."
...yes, he said Zeber's Lemon.
After all that, he can't even get the mathematician right. I don't think there even *is* such a guy as Zeber. He just couldn't remember the name.
Totally unrelated to anything else, today I almost called Andrew Chong "James Chong". :P
ADDENDUM: Elana totally failed to notice there was a potato (grenade) being thrown around. When I told her this, she said "Oh, so *that's* why the bus smelled of potatoes!"
-Sniffnoy
[0]It was a potato with the word "GRENADE" written on it in red marker.
[3]Yes, this is not what I said earlier.
[4]Understandable; the thing smelt really bad.
[5]I'm just talking about the bus home, BTW. On the bus to school we'd all be way too tired for this sort of thing.
--
"It is the dice, in fact, that play God with the universe."
-King Luca
Most of the rest of this entry has to do with potato grenades.
There's this freshman on our bus[5] named David, who sits right behind the seniors, about. Anyway one day I decided that our bus was apparently fighting a war against several other buses and asked him (or rather, commanded him) to hand me some potato grenades.
He didn't have any. "How are we supposed to defend ourselves against the other buses if we don't have any potato grenades?!" I asked.
He didn't have any the next day either. He forgot, he said.
Eventually he started saying things like "he didn't know how to make them" - don't bother making them yourself! Just go and buy them! Or "Well, I have *one*" - what good is *one* potato grenade?! We need more like 100! Or "I have potatoes, does that count?" or "I can't combine the potatoes with the grenades!" - GOOD! You do *not* make potato grenades by combining potatoes with grenades! Very bad idea, very dangerous! I tried it once!
A few days ago I assigned the freshman who usually sits next to him to hit him every day he did not bring the potato grenades.
So today, I get on the bus and David hands me a potato grenade.[0] It's only one, but it'll have to do.[3] I appoint RJ to be our potato grenadier. He doesn't want to do it, though[4], so Choketsu and then Ingrid becomes our potato grenadier. Eventually it ends up in the hands of... well, I don't know who, but suffice it to say that our sole potato grenade was being wasted quite badly - being thrown at other people *within the bus itself*. After a bit it split into two, whereupon Tom commented "Look, it's Harry!" and Choketsu put one half on my head, where it stayed for a bit before falling off. So of course then the halves were thrown at people.
I generally wasn't involved. Towards the end, however, George threw a potato-part right at me. It missed; Tom and Choketsu told me to throw it back, saying RJ had thrown it. (Or perhaps RJ *did* throw it. Regardless...) I threw it straight at RJ, hitting him right on the head. George then tried to throw it at me again, only to hit the *bus driver*! She then proceeded to shout at us a bit, and soon we arrived home.
At the end, it turned out that it was in fact not David who brought in the potato grenade, but the kid assigned to hit him. Since David did not bring it in, I had the kid hit him anyway. Then I said, enough potato grenades, time for you to start on your next assignment (which actually I had given him a while back): to determine all linear transformations T:R³→R³ st Tx × Ty = T(x×y) ∀x,y∈R³. Of course he doesn't even know what most of that means, but do I care? :D
On a similar note, Tom, a couple of weeks back, told Eugene to find out what's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice. Today, finally, after Tom bugging him for weeks about it, he came up to us at lunch and said, "What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zeber's Lemon."
...yes, he said Zeber's Lemon.
After all that, he can't even get the mathematician right. I don't think there even *is* such a guy as Zeber. He just couldn't remember the name.
Totally unrelated to anything else, today I almost called Andrew Chong "James Chong". :P
ADDENDUM: Elana totally failed to notice there was a potato (grenade) being thrown around. When I told her this, she said "Oh, so *that's* why the bus smelled of potatoes!"
-Sniffnoy
[0]It was a potato with the word "GRENADE" written on it in red marker.
[3]Yes, this is not what I said earlier.
[4]Understandable; the thing smelt really bad.
[5]I'm just talking about the bus home, BTW. On the bus to school we'd all be way too tired for this sort of thing.
--
"It is the dice, in fact, that play God with the universe."
-King Luca
