In the meantime
Jun. 13th, 2004 09:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sniffnoyCurrently I'm waiting for my mom to finish whatever she's doing so she can help me fill out my Senior Profile, already overdue (I think). It *has* to be in tomorrow. They kept calling me (and the others who hadn't done it yet) down to the college center on Friday to get it done, but, well, I didn't.
So, in the meantime...
You know how Mickey and R each have a copy of the entire SNES romset? Seriously, the whole thing. American games, Japanese games, hacked games... (R claims the game Super Pang is missing, but whatever. That's not the point.)
As R has pointed out, the SNES was the height of... ugh... how you say? Games based on things. Movies, SNL sketches, whatever. And generally these games were platformers. Pick a random SNES game, good chance it's a platformer. So yesterday I was over at R's house and guess what we were doing?
We found a platformer based on Home Improvement... but with dinosaurs?! WTF? Perhaps the company had really wanted to get the license for Jurassic Park?
But the most interesting thing was, no, not the fact that in Mega Man's Soccer, Proto Man actually goes by his Japanese name of Blues, but a game we found - R was actually looking for Pushover, a nice little puzzle game about pushing over dominoes - called Rex Ronan, Experimental Surgeon.
The game is a giant anti-smoking ad, one they apparently spent way too much money on. Now, it wouldn't be so bad if:
1. It was not ridiculously hard to control
2. If the game were, well, actually any good
and
3. If they had not made it so blatant by including "smart bombs" - shoot them and a statement about smoking appears. Shoot them again if true to blow up all enemies onscreen, but be careful not to if it's false! (Hint: If it says something bad about smoking, it's true. Otherwise, it's false.)
It was just laughable, really. I say they probably spent too much money on it because instead of just drawing the guy, Rex Ronan (who you play as) is represented by something that was clearly made by recording an actual person and is, as a result, way too hard to control. Also he's wearing a purple jumpsuit, which is just kind of weird-out-ifying.
I should probably explain the story at some point. This guy works for a big tobacco company, smokes cigarettes, now it's given him all these horrible conditions. Enter Rex Ronan, experimental surgeon. He has to shrink down to microscopic size and enter this guy's body to clear away the disease with his... weapons? BUT! The evil tobacco company doesn't want people finding out that cigarettes are bad for you (*when* was this game made?) and so has sent microbots (yes, that was the word they used, "microbots") into the guy's body to kill Rex! So you also have to fight them off.
This brings up a few questions: Why do they have to kill Rex to accomplish this? Why do they have to kill him when he's in this guy's body? Can't they just hire a hitman or something? How about some macrobots? Why is it OK to just get to the end of the level without actually clearing out the disease? Why is our government (or whoever arranged for this) wasting money on this crap?
I think this game teaches us three things:
1. Experimental surgeons look ridiculous in purple jumpsuits (though we all already knew that)
2. Smoking really is bad for you (though we all already knew that)
3. No game should ever be made based on #2 (though we all already knew that)
What else, what else...
Mr. Holbrook got new Green Books. These contain not only all the recent ARML questions, but also the ARML Power Competitions. One is on 25-point affine geometry. Fun...
-Sniffnoy, back to waiting
--
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being
very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle
So, in the meantime...
You know how Mickey and R each have a copy of the entire SNES romset? Seriously, the whole thing. American games, Japanese games, hacked games... (R claims the game Super Pang is missing, but whatever. That's not the point.)
As R has pointed out, the SNES was the height of... ugh... how you say? Games based on things. Movies, SNL sketches, whatever. And generally these games were platformers. Pick a random SNES game, good chance it's a platformer. So yesterday I was over at R's house and guess what we were doing?
We found a platformer based on Home Improvement... but with dinosaurs?! WTF? Perhaps the company had really wanted to get the license for Jurassic Park?
But the most interesting thing was, no, not the fact that in Mega Man's Soccer, Proto Man actually goes by his Japanese name of Blues, but a game we found - R was actually looking for Pushover, a nice little puzzle game about pushing over dominoes - called Rex Ronan, Experimental Surgeon.
The game is a giant anti-smoking ad, one they apparently spent way too much money on. Now, it wouldn't be so bad if:
1. It was not ridiculously hard to control
2. If the game were, well, actually any good
and
3. If they had not made it so blatant by including "smart bombs" - shoot them and a statement about smoking appears. Shoot them again if true to blow up all enemies onscreen, but be careful not to if it's false! (Hint: If it says something bad about smoking, it's true. Otherwise, it's false.)
It was just laughable, really. I say they probably spent too much money on it because instead of just drawing the guy, Rex Ronan (who you play as) is represented by something that was clearly made by recording an actual person and is, as a result, way too hard to control. Also he's wearing a purple jumpsuit, which is just kind of weird-out-ifying.
I should probably explain the story at some point. This guy works for a big tobacco company, smokes cigarettes, now it's given him all these horrible conditions. Enter Rex Ronan, experimental surgeon. He has to shrink down to microscopic size and enter this guy's body to clear away the disease with his... weapons? BUT! The evil tobacco company doesn't want people finding out that cigarettes are bad for you (*when* was this game made?) and so has sent microbots (yes, that was the word they used, "microbots") into the guy's body to kill Rex! So you also have to fight them off.
This brings up a few questions: Why do they have to kill Rex to accomplish this? Why do they have to kill him when he's in this guy's body? Can't they just hire a hitman or something? How about some macrobots? Why is it OK to just get to the end of the level without actually clearing out the disease? Why is our government (or whoever arranged for this) wasting money on this crap?
I think this game teaches us three things:
1. Experimental surgeons look ridiculous in purple jumpsuits (though we all already knew that)
2. Smoking really is bad for you (though we all already knew that)
3. No game should ever be made based on #2 (though we all already knew that)
What else, what else...
Mr. Holbrook got new Green Books. These contain not only all the recent ARML questions, but also the ARML Power Competitions. One is on 25-point affine geometry. Fun...
-Sniffnoy, back to waiting
--
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being
very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle
