About that dead kangaroo

[sniffnoy]

(22:56:16) ***Sniffnoy draws circles
(22:56:30) Grenadier 32: Oooh, can you perform a transmutation!?
(22:56:36) Sniffnoy: sure!
(22:56:44) ***Sniffnoy gets eraser
(22:56:49) Sniffnoy: *scribble scribble scribble*
(22:56:51) Sniffnoy: There!
(22:56:53) Grenadier 32: NO!
(22:56:54) Sniffnoy: now it's a square!
(22:56:56) Grenadier 32: Not THAT kind of transmutation!
(22:57:21) Grenadier 32: As in put something on top of it and turn it into something else with a bolt of lightning!
(22:57:27) Grenadier 32: Shot from your hands.
(22:57:56) Sniffnoy: well, I don't know about that, but I can turn uranium into lead... it'll take a while though :D
(22:58:16) Sniffnoy: but... let's see... lightning from hands...
(22:58:17) Grenadier 32: If I were to take my MP3 player, and smash it on the ground...
(22:58:17) Grenadier 32: *does so*
(22:58:26) Grenadier 32: ...can you draw a circle around that and fix it!?
(22:58:35) Sniffnoy: sure!
(22:58:46) ***Sniffnoy draws circle around MP3 player
(22:59:02) ***Sniffnoy notices slight irregularity in circle
(22:59:04) ***Sniffnoy fixes it
(22:59:07) Sniffnoy: there!
(22:59:11) Grenadier 32: !?
(22:59:20) Grenadier 32: You're a travesty of a joke of an alchemist!
(22:59:25) Sniffnoy: I fixed the circle, like you wanted
(22:59:36) Sniffnoy: I see not the problem :D
(22:59:56) Sniffnoy: should I have used a compass?
(23:00:04) Grenadier 32: ...
(23:00:11) Grenadier 32: And now my MP3 player is broken. :-P
(23:00:16) Sniffnoy: not my fault :D
(23:00:27) Grenadier 32: True...
(23:01:24) Sniffnoy: but OK... let's see if I can do this with lightning not from my hands
(23:01:38) Grenadier 32: Oh, move aside!
(23:01:42) Grenadier 32: *erases circle*
(23:01:46) Grenadier 32: *claps hands together*
(23:02:03) Grenadier 32: *smashes MP3 player, makes a big explosion and fixes MP3 player*
(23:02:14) Sniffnoy: oooooh...
(23:02:19) Sniffnoy: do it again! do it again!
(23:02:31) Grenadier 32: Can't you do it?
(23:02:39) Sniffnoy: I'm afraid not :-/
(23:02:40) Grenadier 32: It's very simple, really.
(23:09:22) Sniffnoy: simple enough to explain?
(23:09:39) Grenadier 32: No.
(23:09:45) Sniffnoy: meh
(23:09:52) Grenadier 32: Just do this...
(23:10:07) Grenadier 32: Clap your hands together and smash the ground, and pray to God you know what you're doing.
(23:10:12) Grenadier 32: From my experience, you either know or you don't.
(23:10:27) Sniffnoy: oh OK!
(23:10:32) Grenadier 32: ...beware, if you don't...
(23:10:38) Sniffnoy: meh!
(23:10:46) Grenadier 32: You could...create some very strange geographical patterns.
(23:10:52) Sniffnoy: YAY!
(23:10:56) Grenadier 32: Without knowing how the hell you did it.
(23:11:35) Grenadier 32: Go ahead, try!
(23:11:43) Grenadier 32: I'll just...stand way back here.
(23:11:58) Sniffnoy: aren't you kind of still in geographical range? :-/
(23:12:10) Grenadier 32: You shouldn't have enough power to reach me from here.
(23:12:15) Grenadier 32: ...unless things go REALLY wrong.
(23:12:31) Sniffnoy: *g*
(23:12:39) Grenadier 32: ...
(23:13:10) Grenadier 32: Alright...try to...make a sword out of a piece of the ground.
(23:13:20) Grenadier 32: You should be able to smack the ground and pull it out.
(23:13:50) Sniffnoy: brb
(23:28:56) Sniffnoy: back
(23:28:58) Sniffnoy: hm...
(23:29:45) Grenadier 32: Kangaeruna! Yatte miro!
(23:30:40) Grenadier 32: OE!
(23:30:57) Grenadier 32: Try it!!
(23:31:31) Sniffnoy: "Kangaeruna! Yatte miro! OE!"
(23:31:33) Sniffnoy: OW!
(23:32:16) Grenadier 32: ?
(23:32:24) Grenadier 32: Come on, just try to make a sword!
(23:32:33) Sniffnoy: I made a kangaroo instead :-/
(23:32:38) Grenadier 32: ......!?
(23:33:11) Grenadier 32: ...incredible...
(23:33:13) Grenadier 32: Do that again!!
(23:33:23) Sniffnoy: no! This one keeps hitting me!
(23:33:30) Grenadier 32: *sigh*
(23:34:05) Grenadier 32: *claps hands together*
(23:34:13) Grenadier 32: *reaches down and pulls a spear out of the ground*
(23:34:23) Grenadier 32: I've got to stop training newbies who have no clue what they're doing...
(23:34:40) Grenadier 32: *charges and impales kangaroo*
(23:35:41) Sniffnoy: YAY!
(23:35:45) Sniffnoy: ew
(23:35:50) Sniffnoy: now there's kangaroo blood all over
(23:36:03) Grenadier 32: Alright, transmute it into water then.
(23:37:04) Sniffnoy: um...
(23:37:22) Grenadier 32: Clap your hands together and just do it!
(23:37:32) Sniffnoy: *claps*
(23:37:35) Grenadier 32: And if it turns into sand, never try alchemy again :-P
(23:38:12) Sniffnoy: and if it just turns green instead?
(23:38:18) Grenadier 32: ...
(23:38:30) Grenadier 32: You turned the iron in the blood into copper!?
(23:38:45) Sniffnoy: copper? copper is blue...
(23:38:58) Sniffnoy: well, cupric is blue - maybe cuprous is green?
(23:38:59) Grenadier 32: Doesn't cooper oxidize green?
(23:39:05) Grenadier 32: copper**
(23:39:59) Grenadier 32: Bah, don't ask me, I'm no chemist, I'm an alchemist!
(23:40:05) Sniffnoy: true, true
(23:40:06) Sniffnoy: but
(23:40:18) Sniffnoy: doesn't that mean you should know important alchemical stuff like color? :D
(23:40:27) Grenadier 32: All I know is gold.
(23:40:34) Sniffnoy: oh
(23:40:35) Grenadier 32: The rest is immaterial.
(23:40:56) Sniffnoy: OK... let me try this again
(23:41:04) Grenadier 32: Whoa, wait
(23:41:06) Grenadier 32: Don't clap
(23:41:10) Sniffnoy: aw...
(23:41:13) Grenadier 32: That's only for people who can do it perfectly
(23:41:35) Grenadier 32: If you mess up the transmutation will have no coherency whatsoever, it has to be perfect
(23:41:44) Grenadier 32: Draw a circle on the ground with chalk or something
(23:41:50) Grenadier 32: And NOT AN OVAL!
(23:42:03) Sniffnoy: but... a circle is an oval...
(23:42:05) Grenadier 32: ...
(23:42:37) Grenadier 32: Ack, GTG
(23:42:43) Sniffnoy: g'bye
(23:42:45) Grenadier 32: C ya
(23:42:51) Sniffnoy: can you at least get rid of the blood before you go? :-/
(23:43:02) Grenadier 32: *bang*
(23:43:11) Grenadier 32: There, now it's solid gold covering everything.
(23:43:18) Grenadier 32: Have fun.
(23:43:19) Grenadier 32 logged out.

(23:29:31) ***Sniffnoy draws circles
(23:29:50) ***Demosthenes36 draws dodecadedrons
(23:30:11) Sniffnoy: oooh...
(23:30:55) Demosthenes36: take the SATs today?
(23:31:00) Sniffnoy: oh yeah, well, *draws a 2-dimensional projection of a dodecahedron*
(23:31:03) Sniffnoy: no, I already di
(23:31:04) Sniffnoy: d
(23:31:08) Demosthenes36: ah
(23:32:45) Sniffnoy: hm...
(23:33:04) Sniffnoy: what would you if you'd just pulled a giant kangaroo out of your carpet?
(23:33:27) Demosthenes36: well...
(23:33:40) Sniffnoy: not a very nice kangaroo either, I should note :-/
(23:33:51) Demosthenes36: id ask him/her how he hid in there. ive been trying the same trick for monthes to no avail.
(23:34:19) Sniffnoy: first I think I should get it to stop hitting me :-/
(23:34:25) Demosthenes36: eep!
(23:36:24) Sniffnoy: nevermind
(23:36:27) Sniffnoy: Mickey got rid of it
(23:36:34) Demosthenes36: oh good
(23:36:40) Demosthenes36: wait...mickey?
(23:37:14) Sniffnoy: yes, Mickey
(23:43:43) Sniffnoy: though now we need to dispose of the body somehow :-/
(23:44:07) Demosthenes36: eep!
(23:44:14) Demosthenes36: kangaroo stew anyone?
(23:44:37) Sniffnoy: not me :-/

(23:52:31) Sniffnoy: how do you get rid of a dead kangaroo?
(23:52:54) GRpanthers: Get the crocadile hunter


(23:53:00) Sniffnoy: good idea!
(23:53:17) Sniffnoy: er... how?
(23:54:01) GRpanthers: don't you have his phone number?
(23:54:08) Sniffnoy: afraid not :-/
(23:54:15) GRpanthers: Jeff Corwin?
(23:55:00) Sniffnoy: him neither
(23:55:17) GRpanthers: Bergen County Animal Control?
(23:55:23) GRpanthers: The ASPCA
(23:56:20) Sniffnoy: no, that makes too much sense :D
(23:56:27) GRpanthers: true

(23:53:33) Sniffnoy: how do you get rid of a dead kangaroo?
(23:53:41) JoshuaZelinsky: I don't know, how?
(23:53:48) Sniffnoy: I don't know, I'm asking you :-/
(23:53:54) JoshuaZelinsky: what?
(23:55:15) JoshuaZelinsky: hmm
(23:55:29) JoshuaZelinsky: how did this come up?
(23:55:51) Sniffnoy: I pulled it out of the carpet, and then Mickey killed it
(23:56:03) JoshuaZelinsky: right
(23:56:12) JoshuaZelinsky: ask jeeves doesn't have an answerd
(23:56:55) JoshuaZelinsky: ah found one!
(23:56:57) JoshuaZelinsky: http://www.environment.act.gov.au/corporate/frequentlyaskedquestions.html#kangaroos
(23:57:09) JoshuaZelinsky: Contact the appropriate Nature Park. If it is on the southside ring 6207 2127. If it is on the northside ring 6207 1679. (After hours 132281)

(23:57:20) Sniffnoy: LOL
(23:57:50) Sniffnoy: but that's only if it's on the side of the road... not in my room :-/
(23:58:23) JoshuaZelinsky: oh
(23:58:36) JoshuaZelinsky: and you're not in aussi land anyways
(23:58:51) Sniffnoy: true
(23:59:22) JoshuaZelinsky: I dunno what to do then

(23:52:17) Tavgfrg: how do you get rid of a dead kangaroo?
(23:52:33) hal2213: put it inside a larger kangaroo?
(23:52:55) Tavgfrg: no, I'd much rather not summon any more kangaroos tonight
(23:53:05) hal2213: hmm
(23:53:09) hal2213: tricksy then
(23:53:11) hal2213: eh
(23:53:14) hal2213: we're american
(23:53:18) hal2213: the sewage system can handle it
(23:53:27) Tavgfrg: but it won't fit in the toilet :-/
(23:53:33) hal2213: well
(23:53:46) hal2213: if thats the case, the food processor can, and then the toilet
(23:53:59) Tavgfrg: it won't fit in the food processor either :-/
(23:54:19) hal2213: you have to parcel it up
(23:54:39) hal2213: but if you don't want to do that...
(23:54:42) hal2213: a lye bath?
(23:56:08) Tavgfrg: I don't think that would be too good for the carpet :-/
(23:56:19) hal2213: how so? :-/
(23:56:22) hal2213: just get some lye
(23:56:31) hal2213: put the kangaroo and lye in the bathtub
(23:56:33) hal2213: problem solved
(23:56:36) Tavgfrg: oh, OK
(23:56:44) Tavgfrg: but what about all the gold?
(23:57:19) hal2213: open up your smoke detectors, get the americium out, sprinkle it over
(23:57:21) hal2213: and paint it grey
(23:57:25) hal2213: call it plutonium
(23:58:03) Tavgfrg: but first I have to remove it from the carpet :-/
(23:58:30) hal2213: heating pad under the carpet?
(23:58:46) Tavgfrg: what would that do?
(23:58:54) hal2213: make the gold easy to remove?
(23:59:03) Tavgfrg: how?
(23:59:13) hal2213: very malleable
(23:59:27) Tavgfrg: but it's all splattered...
(23:59:33) hal2213: shouldn't be a problem
(23:59:40) hal2213: or you can probably get a new carpet
(00:00:33) hal2213: heat + vaccum cleaner might be the way to go, though
(00:00:45) Tavgfrg: hm, good idea
(00:01:21) hal2213: any more problems? :-P
(00:01:28) Tavgfrg: not yet :D
(00:01:44) hal2213: I feel like the guy from pulp fiction
(00:02:38) Tavgfrg: *hasn't seen Pulp Fiction*
(00:02:51) hal2213: its probably worth your time
(00:02:56) hal2213: I haven't seen all of it, though :-P

(23:59:15) Sniffnoy: how do you get rid of a dead kangaroo?
(23:59:33) WakeUpToes: i cant say
(00:00:13) Sniffnoy: meh
(00:00:18) Sniffnoy: stupid conspiracies
(00:01:39) WakeUpToes: whaa?
(00:02:26) Sniffnoy: well why's it such a secret, then? :-/
(00:06:30) WakeUpToes: its not
(00:06:38) WakeUpToes: i just mean i dont know any better than you
(00:06:49) Sniffnoy: well why didn't you just say so? :-/
(00:08:07) Sniffnoy: well, which do you think would be better for getting rid of it, acid or base?
(00:08:46) WakeUpToes: acid, def
(00:09:01) Sniffnoy: OK

(00:11:21) Sniffnoy: hm... any idea where I could get some strong acid to dissolve the corpse of this kangaroo?
(00:11:32) winterfresh42: ebay
(00:11:38) Sniffnoy: of course!
(00:11:43) Sniffnoy: I should have thought of that
(00:11:48) winterfresh42: yes you should have

(00:13:25) [K]: whats new
(00:13:54) Sniffnoy: this dead kangaroo in my room which I'm about to dispose of in my bathtub with HCl I bought on ebay?
(00:14:06) [K]: Why is it dead?
(00:14:13) Sniffnoy: Mickey killed it
(00:14:15) Sniffnoy: with a spear
(00:15:24) [K]: o_O
(00:15:28) [K]: When?!
(00:15:33) Sniffnoy: just recently
(00:15:34) [K]: err how?!
(00:15:41) Sniffnoy: well I pulled it out of the carpet
(00:15:41) [K]: not a foil?
(00:15:44) Sniffnoy: nope, a spear
(00:15:51) [K]: he does spears now?
(00:15:54) Sniffnoy: I pulled the kangaroo out of the carpet, that is
(00:15:55) Sniffnoy: apparently
(00:16:01) Sniffnoy: and it kept hitting me
(00:16:16) Sniffnoy: and Mickey killed it with a spear and then turned all its blood to gold
(00:16:17) [K]: the carpet?
(00:16:19) Sniffnoy: yes
(00:16:31) [K]: How does a carpet hit you?
(00:16:37) Sniffnoy: no, sorry
(00:16:41) Sniffnoy: the kangaroo kept hitting me
(00:16:52) [K]: oh i see, and the carpet hit the kangaroo?
(00:17:00) Sniffnoy: no
(00:17:06) Sniffnoy: the carpet just lay there
(00:17:20) [K]: I see, so he did a good job?
(00:17:34) [K]: wait with that HCl for a second
(00:17:37) [K]: i need some
(00:17:45) Sniffnoy: sure
(00:18:18) [K]: i need to burn some pen off of my hand that some girls drew on at lunch yesterday... its not coming off, and i think i need some HCl.
(00:18:23) [K]: would that help?
(00:18:32) Sniffnoy: if you want to burn your hand too, sure :-/
(00:18:35) [K]: acrually, i don't need it... dump it on Mickey's head.
(00:19:05) Sniffnoy: well actually on the kangaroo which I've just moved to the bathtub
(00:19:16) [K]: His face needs it more than the back of my hand... or the kangaroo for that matter
(00:19:20) [K]: <he is there, right?>
(00:19:31) Sniffnoy: nope
(00:19:39) [K]: <(I am trying to make fun of him hoping he was by the computer as well)>
(00:19:41) Sniffnoy: he had to leave after he turned all the blood to gold
(00:19:42) [K]: oh well
(00:19:58) [K]: GOLD?
(00:20:00) [K]: GIMME!
(00:20:01) Sniffnoy: yup
(00:20:03) Sniffnoy: sure
(00:20:13) Sniffnoy: but not till I get it together
(00:20:17) Sniffnoy: I still have to vacuum it up
[Kevin quotes Weekend Update]
(00:22:18) Sniffnoy: hehehe
(00:23:03) Sniffnoy: well
(00:23:05) Sniffnoy: I must go now
(00:23:08) Sniffnoy: g'bye
(00:23:11) [K]: kangaroo calling?
(00:23:15) Sniffnoy: yah
(00:23:21) [K]: okay. cya\