Have I ever told you how much I hate the beach?
No? Well, I'm about to.
The first problem is the question of why people go to the beach. The most ridiculous explanation I've heard so far - although of course it's also the least ridiculous, seeing as how I haven't heard any others - is that they do so to cool off. If they want to cool off, a much better way to do so would just to sit at home with the A/C on.
OK, so maybe they don't have air conditioning. Maybe all they have are a few ineffectual fans and sitting at home would mean sitting at home in the sweltering heat.
This still fails to explain it, though, as if you go to the beach you'll *still* be sitting in the sweltering heat. And you'll have the additional problems of being at the beach. Of course you could go in the water, but that has its own share of problems.
One of the more annoying things, thankfully, is variable. This little thing is the distance to the nearest garbage or bathroom. Of course some people will just use the water as a bathroom, but that doesn't really count. It could be close by, or it could be back by the parking lot. And, in the second case, it is quite probable that it will be quite a long trek back to the parking lot. Over burning hot sand. And burning hot wood. And burning hot asphalt. Thankfully I didn't have to go to the bathroom there today.
But, of wood, sand, and asphalt, while the asphalt will be the hottest, the *worst* is the sand. The sand, in fact, is probably the single worst thing about the beach. Were it not for the sand, perhaps I could tolerate it. But the sand is just horrible. It gets in everything. It gets in the towels, from which it gets on your skin, from which it gets in the sunscreen, making it so that you can't get it off. You could go to the water, but then you'd only get more sand on your feet trying to get back. You could, potentially, go to the water, stick both feet in, dry off one foot and stick it immediately into a shoe of some sort, but this leaves you standing on one foot, and you'll soon quite likely get more water on you, or, quite possibly, more sand. Quite a lot of it. And it would be in the shoe. It gets in shoes, too, though how I don't know. It gets kicked around, and gets in the soda, which you probably shouldn't drink anyway since it'll only make you more thirsty.
[There was going to be much more to this entry, but I was interrupted while writing it and never got around to finishing it. I made it private, since it was unfinished, but I'm making it public now as it never *will* be finished.]
No? Well, I'm about to.
The first problem is the question of why people go to the beach. The most ridiculous explanation I've heard so far - although of course it's also the least ridiculous, seeing as how I haven't heard any others - is that they do so to cool off. If they want to cool off, a much better way to do so would just to sit at home with the A/C on.
OK, so maybe they don't have air conditioning. Maybe all they have are a few ineffectual fans and sitting at home would mean sitting at home in the sweltering heat.
This still fails to explain it, though, as if you go to the beach you'll *still* be sitting in the sweltering heat. And you'll have the additional problems of being at the beach. Of course you could go in the water, but that has its own share of problems.
One of the more annoying things, thankfully, is variable. This little thing is the distance to the nearest garbage or bathroom. Of course some people will just use the water as a bathroom, but that doesn't really count. It could be close by, or it could be back by the parking lot. And, in the second case, it is quite probable that it will be quite a long trek back to the parking lot. Over burning hot sand. And burning hot wood. And burning hot asphalt. Thankfully I didn't have to go to the bathroom there today.
But, of wood, sand, and asphalt, while the asphalt will be the hottest, the *worst* is the sand. The sand, in fact, is probably the single worst thing about the beach. Were it not for the sand, perhaps I could tolerate it. But the sand is just horrible. It gets in everything. It gets in the towels, from which it gets on your skin, from which it gets in the sunscreen, making it so that you can't get it off. You could go to the water, but then you'd only get more sand on your feet trying to get back. You could, potentially, go to the water, stick both feet in, dry off one foot and stick it immediately into a shoe of some sort, but this leaves you standing on one foot, and you'll soon quite likely get more water on you, or, quite possibly, more sand. Quite a lot of it. And it would be in the shoe. It gets in shoes, too, though how I don't know. It gets kicked around, and gets in the soda, which you probably shouldn't drink anyway since it'll only make you more thirsty.
[There was going to be much more to this entry, but I was interrupted while writing it and never got around to finishing it. I made it private, since it was unfinished, but I'm making it public now as it never *will* be finished.]
