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sniffnoyThe beginning of the war may be have to be made into a separate entry, since I am writing about it so late. My explanation for this?
This Sunday was the shortest day of my life so far, and probably will remain so. OK, not Sunday as such. I always count days as the period between sleeps - yes, even when I stay up all night, because I typically don't last very long after that. Anyway. Basically, I had fallen onto the night cycle at the beginning of the weekend, as I so often do, and I figured in order to avoid screwing myself over again, I had to go to sleep at a reasonable time on Sunday. Of course, I got up at about 18:00 on Saturday, so this was not going to be easy. Plan 1: Stay up all day Sunday, as I'd tried before. Unsure I could make it, I made a point of doing my math homework on Saturday. Indeed, I did not, I went to bed at about 15:00 Sunday, woke up around 21:00. So, plan 2: Stay in bed for the rest of Sunday. Just skip it entirely. Well, I went back to sleep for about an hour and then at 22:00 they called study break, with giant cookies. Obviously I got out of bed for that. Of course, by the time I got there there was only 1 chocolate chip cookie left, but the oatmeal raisin ones were good too. Anyway, after that I tried going back to bed, but I couldn't fall asleep at all and finally around 12:30 or so I gave up, came out, played some Smash, and finally went back to bed around 3:00, actually managing to fall asleep sometime before 5:00, and, when my alarm woke me up around 8:00, actually being pretty awake. Very nice.
Oh, did I mention I got all 120 stars? And yes, actually beat Bowser afterward? Well, I did. Now I've started playing the original Zelda. :)
More quotes from math and CS:
On Nic's homework, next to his comment "These are not the same a and b from before", Wei wrote: "You'll make a good analyst. Good analysts recycle their variables."
Mr. Sally accidentally writes on the board, "intersectorsection".
Stuart Kurtz: "And once you start thinking quadratic on hundreds of thousands or millions... you start feeling a little uncomfortable."
As for the war... no, let's not make it a separate entry. Perhaps an LJ cut. I'll see.
So, I was doing my math homework in the study lounge Saturday night when Charlotte came in and tells me that Henderson has stolen all the furniture from our lounge. Several hours later Boy Alex comes in and tells me the shower curtains are gone. I guess Henderson probably took those, too. Well, before long, we've got lots of people going to Henderson to shower (did you know Henderson actually has single-sex bathrooms? Or partly single-sex, anyway), and a note on the lounge door from Colleen saying she's found our couches... on the 10th floor! So pretty soon everyone's planning revenge against Henderson, who definitely has our furniture (I make some suggestions quite loudly at the lunch table, forgetting they're at the table right next to us), but what's this about Shorey?
When I wake up for study break (see above), I find the furniture mostly returned, the shower curtains back up (well... different shower curtains back up. Maybe they're the ones from the 3rd floor?), and I ask what happened. Turned out, our furniture was in both Henderson *and* Shorey. Because it was Thompson who did it. Nice going. Way to cast suspicion on yourselves. Seriously - did you expect us to believe that Henderson and Shorey would work together on this, and split the furniture between them? You frame Henderson *or* Shorey, that's believable, not *both*. Anyway. It really was Thompson, Bill did some snooping, asked Charlotte (who had seen part of it), checked some facebooks...
Now, I don't think historically there's been much fighting between Tufts and Thompson. But this, I think I can safely say, calls for war. And while Henderson's table may be right next to ours, Thompson's is in a different room, so they haven't heard any of our revenge ideas.
Now for the part I'm going to have to LJ-cut, and which I'm sure will be continued in future entries. Actually, this whole thing will be continued in future entries, but, eh, I have no idea where I was going with that sentence. Anyway. This is what has happened on the mailing list regarding this since then:
(All quoted text and signatures are omitted, and all "[Tufts]"s have been stripped from subjects.)
It begain with the following message from Nadja:
From: Nadja Otikor
Subject: Couches and Curtains
Dear House,
A grave injustice has occured. I woke up this morning and was disturbed to find a lack of curtains in the fourth floor shower. I figured, "...Okay, I'll go to the third floor then." Harry happened to be in the lounge and he informed me that the third floor is also missing curtains, in addition, someone took our couches too; presumably Henderson.
So I ventured to the fifth floor for my shower and lo and behold, Henderson is in possesion of our couches and probably our curtains as well.
Unfortunately, I'm on my way out of town, but /please/ retaliate against these fools. Do not let the honor of our house be besmirched in this fashion.
~Nadja
PS- Henderson has partially single sex bathrooms. n00bs.
There were some replies to this that were basically totally unrelated... they're funny (with the exception of Marissa being her usual humorless self) but let's skip past them for now.
From: Kyle Lee
Subject: Emergency Couch E-mail!
Tufts,
I'm not sure if anyone has discovered this yet, but our couches are in the elevator
lobby on the 10th floor along with a chair of two. I came across them as I was
heading up to the study lounge just a little while ago.
I advocate a new security policy for our terrority: shoot first, ask questions later.
Regards,
Kyle
Ben Varnum sent out an email saying he had returned the couches to our lounge (being unaware that returning them was supposed to be punishment for those who'd done it), we'll skip that one. Of course, Bill had to write an email telling us all not to take revenge:
From: William Thistlethwaite
Subject: Resolution: Couch E-mail!
So,
I said it at the study break and it bears repeating. We have
found out who is responsible for the prank against our house.
They are going to be punished.
In other news, retribution is strongly proscribed. Do not
attempt to take vengence against either a house or an
individual. Housing doesn't like pranks, but they hate revenge
even more. So please, don't make us come down really hard on
anyone.
Cheers!
-- Bill
From: Scott Duncombe
Subject: Re: Resolution: Couch E-mail!
Friends, Housemates, lend me your ears.
Bill is right.
Revenge is a dark and dreary subject we at Pierce are best to avoid. After all, would we not create a circle of hate and destruction that would ultimately only hurt the lovely place we live and work everyday?
I find solace in times like these, by reffering to the great works of history for guidence. Take, for example, what Mark Antony, from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, said on the subject of revenge:
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.-
-Scott "loves all williams" Duncombe
Then, as the title of this LJ-cut says, Sean, Chris, Jack, and Ben stepped in.
From: Sean Robinson
Subject: Shock and Awe
Tufts,
We do not need a permission slip from housing to defend our
home. We posses this right under the Tufts House
Constitution approved unanimously, but more importantly, we
posses this as a fundamental right. We have never relied on
housing to protect us in the past, and we will not this
day. This is not a matter to be deliberated on by
outsiders. This is our home, this is our fight. We have
been wronged, and will not so lightly forget this.
Last night, Tufts was done a great injustice. In jealous
spite, our house was viciously attacked by members of
Thompson. In their cowardice, they tried to mask their
blame, attempting to frame our sister houses. Such
unprovoked malice against our noble house will not be
tolerated. Let it be known that Thompson House now counts
itself among the enemies of Tufts, and it will burn.
As president of Tufts House, I hereby execute the powers
vested in me by Article 9 Section C of the Tufts House
Constitution. Members of the house are hereby authorized to
use all necessary and appropriate force against those
houses, organizations, or persons determined to have
planned, authorized, committed, or aided the attacks that
occurred on February 5, 2006, or harbored such organizations
or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of
aggression against the house.
Brothers, sisters – sons and daughters of the motherland –
the honor of Tufts has been slighted. Go forth, and show
them her wrath.
The Commander in Chief and President of the United Floors of
Tufts.
From: (Armoskus's email address)
Subject: Crusade
O righteous men and women of Tufts,
The forces of evil have struck against us. These
past days, the infidels of Thompson have laid waste to our
lounge and our showers. They have violated our land and
besmirched our honor. They have violated the Commandments of
God and His wrath will be swift and merciless:
Thus says the Lord God: I, I myself am coming against you; I
will execute judgments among you in the sight of the
nations. And because of all your abominations, I will do to
you what I have never yet done, and the like of which I will
never do again. Surely, parents shall eat their children in
your midst, and children shall eat their parents; I will
execute judgments on you, and any of you who survive I will
scatter to every wind. Therefore, as I live, says the Lord
God, surely because you have defiled my sanctuary with all
your detestable things and with all your abominations –
therefore I will cut you down; my eye will not spare, and I
will have no pity.
-- Ezekial 5:8-11
Those who have ears, hear: We must follow the word
of God, and strike back against these non-believers. All who
are able must rise up together and act to fulfill His will.
Act in the name of the Lord and punish those who have sinned
against him. Fear no mortal agency’s retribution, for it is
a higher power we must obey. We shall not rest until they
have realized the error of their ways and repented those
sins they have committed.
Chris "believes in a vengeful God" Armoskus
From: (Jack's email address)
Subject: Attention, My Brethren,
Al Hamdulillah! Al Hamdulillah! Al Hamdulillah! Allahu
Akbar! Allahu akbar!
....the word of the Almighty and Hasrat I Isa is upon us! My
blood, proud and holy, is boiling under the disgrace of a
thousand and one full moons! Jihad is inevitable against the
heathen! All praise the forgiveness and generosity of the
Almighty, so that we may, with a swift blow, bring these
poor, tortured souls peace of mind! Not unlike the Malayan
fire ants, with their duty of sanctifying the sin-laden
world of insects, we shall cleanse the world of such human
swine! Bismillah Ir-Rahman Ir-Rahim, Insha'llah Allahu
Akbar! The Great Satan will perish; on the name of my Holy
Blade, Osamma, I swear upon it!
Yes, brothers, with our souls and blood we redeem you, O
Palestine. This is the decision of the people of exceeding
strength. This is a sacred bond. We are up to this duty. You
know I am saying this because I know our people. I know what
it means that in the midst of this crisis, yet none of them
complained. However, they said: Allah is great! Glory to
Allah and his prophet! Jihad, jihad, jihad, jihad, jihad!
"O ye who believe! what is the matter with you, that, when
ye are asked to go forth in the cause of Allah, ye cling
heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to
the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as
compared with the Hereafter. Unless ye go forth, He will
punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your
place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For Allah
hath power over all things. Unless ye go forth, He will
punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your
place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For Allah
hath power over all things," (Surah 9:38-39).
Peace and Godspeed,
Jack "1/4 Arab" Chua
From: Samuel Haddaway (!) (It bore Sam's email address, too)
Subject: State of the Union
Comrades,
My brothers have spoken well and they have spoken truth. Religion, throughout history, is often the breeding ground of such fervor set to inspire King and countrymen. I, however, take a different tact.
In the words of Lincoln,
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here; while it can never forget what they did here. "
Gettysburg, hallowed by the men who fought and died there, has forever remained such a place. We now, fellow countrymen, find ourselves at a similar point in our own history and the question of inspiration looms large. It is time to assess the state of our own union and we must relish at the opportunity that our actions can aspire to merit similar results. For when a writer sets out to compose a speech he asks for only one thing, that his words become language and the two coalesce into something beautiful. Shakespeare was a master at this and I draw upon such a speech now for our own inspiration.
"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.
For he today that sheds his blood with me,
shall be my brother, be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition."
We happy few, the words of action and the words of vengeance. Henry, the ever vengeful King, struck out with his words and his actions. Lest we forget his epithet, "once more into the breach dear friends, once more," words that inspired his Englishmen and those of Winston Churchill.
So are we Vengeful? Are we wrathful? Those who have written before me argue that through God we fuel our wrath and exert our vengeance and I draw upon those words as well. But, it is our actions, not our words that make us who we are, that define us. So act, act out against those who stand before us, who attempt to benign and beguile us. "Let those who God has joined together let no men put asunder." Here we are thus joined and here we must fight.
In closing, I draw upon the words of a poet who was so shamed by what she wrote that she hid her beauty on scraps of paper found in her drawer years after her death. Words that since then have been thought to be the perfect union of rhythm, word and language. Dickinson writes,
"Feet to the Rising and Setting may run,
They always beat on the same small stone."
Run well Tufts,
Ben Gerdes
Mark figured a more peaceful approach was necessary:
From: (Mark's email address)
Subject: Re: Crusade
But let us not forget the New Testament where we are told to
forgive others if they repent and we should forgive
"seventy-seven times" (Matt 18:22) If Thompson repents we
should forgive them (a nice way for them to repent is give us
their piano or oven or build us a tire swing or give us a
football) If Thompson does not repent then it is our duty to
point out the sin that they have committed. "If your brother
sins against you go and show him his fault, just between the
two of you. If he listens you have won your brother over.
But if he will not listen take one or two others along...If he
will not listen to them tell it to the church and if he
refuses to even listen to the church, treat him as you would a
pagan..."(matt 18:15-18). Let us give Thompson a chance to
repent and if they don’t then the wrath of God may come to
them but it is important not to confuse ourselfs with God.
Mark “Belives in a forgiving God” Berberian
PS Where is my football
Then we got 4 emails from Ben Varnum, each bearing a different name:
From: Jachibald Chua
Subject: Couch Resolution
Dear Tufts House,
I've changed my mind. We don't really need to attack anyone
outside the house. It's a great week, as a matter of fact, to
buckle down and focus on our studies; I know I'm behind on my
reading for a few classes, and I bet you are too!
Sorry if my previous zeal offended anyone.
Hugs and kisses,
Jack Chua
From: Christoberg Armoskus
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
Jack is right . . . I also am in favor of a peaceful
resolution to this situation. After all, nothing too bad has
happened. I'm much more concerned about what video games we
should be playing.
With all sincerity,
Chris Armoskus
From: Ben Toutashape Gerdes
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
My delicious comrades are right.
Sean, we don't need war. We ought to think about how we can
all live together in harmony.
Tastily,
Gerdes
From: Seanathon Robinson
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
In light of the recent democratic impulse in favor of not
plunging ourselves or our house into further inanity, I hereby
use my wartime powers to abolish the clauses for wartime
powers within the constitution, and thereafter declare the war
over!
Everyone's a winner, now come to Seanstaafl for some great
disgusting fruit snacks and no gatorade!
Please don't impeach me,
Sean Robinson
Followed one from Ben Varnum in his own name,
From: Benedict Varnum
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
Always nice to see sound judgment and good moral principle
winning out over blatant public jackassery, guys. Keep up the
good work.
Ben
This will, of course, stop absolutely noone.
And that's where things currently stand.
-Sniffnoy
This Sunday was the shortest day of my life so far, and probably will remain so. OK, not Sunday as such. I always count days as the period between sleeps - yes, even when I stay up all night, because I typically don't last very long after that. Anyway. Basically, I had fallen onto the night cycle at the beginning of the weekend, as I so often do, and I figured in order to avoid screwing myself over again, I had to go to sleep at a reasonable time on Sunday. Of course, I got up at about 18:00 on Saturday, so this was not going to be easy. Plan 1: Stay up all day Sunday, as I'd tried before. Unsure I could make it, I made a point of doing my math homework on Saturday. Indeed, I did not, I went to bed at about 15:00 Sunday, woke up around 21:00. So, plan 2: Stay in bed for the rest of Sunday. Just skip it entirely. Well, I went back to sleep for about an hour and then at 22:00 they called study break, with giant cookies. Obviously I got out of bed for that. Of course, by the time I got there there was only 1 chocolate chip cookie left, but the oatmeal raisin ones were good too. Anyway, after that I tried going back to bed, but I couldn't fall asleep at all and finally around 12:30 or so I gave up, came out, played some Smash, and finally went back to bed around 3:00, actually managing to fall asleep sometime before 5:00, and, when my alarm woke me up around 8:00, actually being pretty awake. Very nice.
Oh, did I mention I got all 120 stars? And yes, actually beat Bowser afterward? Well, I did. Now I've started playing the original Zelda. :)
More quotes from math and CS:
On Nic's homework, next to his comment "These are not the same a and b from before", Wei wrote: "You'll make a good analyst. Good analysts recycle their variables."
Mr. Sally accidentally writes on the board, "intersectorsection".
Stuart Kurtz: "And once you start thinking quadratic on hundreds of thousands or millions... you start feeling a little uncomfortable."
As for the war... no, let's not make it a separate entry. Perhaps an LJ cut. I'll see.
So, I was doing my math homework in the study lounge Saturday night when Charlotte came in and tells me that Henderson has stolen all the furniture from our lounge. Several hours later Boy Alex comes in and tells me the shower curtains are gone. I guess Henderson probably took those, too. Well, before long, we've got lots of people going to Henderson to shower (did you know Henderson actually has single-sex bathrooms? Or partly single-sex, anyway), and a note on the lounge door from Colleen saying she's found our couches... on the 10th floor! So pretty soon everyone's planning revenge against Henderson, who definitely has our furniture (I make some suggestions quite loudly at the lunch table, forgetting they're at the table right next to us), but what's this about Shorey?
When I wake up for study break (see above), I find the furniture mostly returned, the shower curtains back up (well... different shower curtains back up. Maybe they're the ones from the 3rd floor?), and I ask what happened. Turned out, our furniture was in both Henderson *and* Shorey. Because it was Thompson who did it. Nice going. Way to cast suspicion on yourselves. Seriously - did you expect us to believe that Henderson and Shorey would work together on this, and split the furniture between them? You frame Henderson *or* Shorey, that's believable, not *both*. Anyway. It really was Thompson, Bill did some snooping, asked Charlotte (who had seen part of it), checked some facebooks...
Now, I don't think historically there's been much fighting between Tufts and Thompson. But this, I think I can safely say, calls for war. And while Henderson's table may be right next to ours, Thompson's is in a different room, so they haven't heard any of our revenge ideas.
Now for the part I'm going to have to LJ-cut, and which I'm sure will be continued in future entries. Actually, this whole thing will be continued in future entries, but, eh, I have no idea where I was going with that sentence. Anyway. This is what has happened on the mailing list regarding this since then:
(All quoted text and signatures are omitted, and all "[Tufts]"s have been stripped from subjects.)
It begain with the following message from Nadja:
From: Nadja Otikor
Subject: Couches and Curtains
Dear House,
A grave injustice has occured. I woke up this morning and was disturbed to find a lack of curtains in the fourth floor shower. I figured, "...Okay, I'll go to the third floor then." Harry happened to be in the lounge and he informed me that the third floor is also missing curtains, in addition, someone took our couches too; presumably Henderson.
So I ventured to the fifth floor for my shower and lo and behold, Henderson is in possesion of our couches and probably our curtains as well.
Unfortunately, I'm on my way out of town, but /please/ retaliate against these fools. Do not let the honor of our house be besmirched in this fashion.
~Nadja
PS- Henderson has partially single sex bathrooms. n00bs.
There were some replies to this that were basically totally unrelated... they're funny (with the exception of Marissa being her usual humorless self) but let's skip past them for now.
From: Kyle Lee
Subject: Emergency Couch E-mail!
Tufts,
I'm not sure if anyone has discovered this yet, but our couches are in the elevator
lobby on the 10th floor along with a chair of two. I came across them as I was
heading up to the study lounge just a little while ago.
I advocate a new security policy for our terrority: shoot first, ask questions later.
Regards,
Kyle
Ben Varnum sent out an email saying he had returned the couches to our lounge (being unaware that returning them was supposed to be punishment for those who'd done it), we'll skip that one. Of course, Bill had to write an email telling us all not to take revenge:
From: William Thistlethwaite
Subject: Resolution: Couch E-mail!
So,
I said it at the study break and it bears repeating. We have
found out who is responsible for the prank against our house.
They are going to be punished.
In other news, retribution is strongly proscribed. Do not
attempt to take vengence against either a house or an
individual. Housing doesn't like pranks, but they hate revenge
even more. So please, don't make us come down really hard on
anyone.
Cheers!
-- Bill
From: Scott Duncombe
Subject: Re: Resolution: Couch E-mail!
Friends, Housemates, lend me your ears.
Bill is right.
Revenge is a dark and dreary subject we at Pierce are best to avoid. After all, would we not create a circle of hate and destruction that would ultimately only hurt the lovely place we live and work everyday?
I find solace in times like these, by reffering to the great works of history for guidence. Take, for example, what Mark Antony, from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, said on the subject of revenge:
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.-
-Scott "loves all williams" Duncombe
Then, as the title of this LJ-cut says, Sean, Chris, Jack, and Ben stepped in.
From: Sean Robinson
Subject: Shock and Awe
Tufts,
We do not need a permission slip from housing to defend our
home. We posses this right under the Tufts House
Constitution approved unanimously, but more importantly, we
posses this as a fundamental right. We have never relied on
housing to protect us in the past, and we will not this
day. This is not a matter to be deliberated on by
outsiders. This is our home, this is our fight. We have
been wronged, and will not so lightly forget this.
Last night, Tufts was done a great injustice. In jealous
spite, our house was viciously attacked by members of
Thompson. In their cowardice, they tried to mask their
blame, attempting to frame our sister houses. Such
unprovoked malice against our noble house will not be
tolerated. Let it be known that Thompson House now counts
itself among the enemies of Tufts, and it will burn.
As president of Tufts House, I hereby execute the powers
vested in me by Article 9 Section C of the Tufts House
Constitution. Members of the house are hereby authorized to
use all necessary and appropriate force against those
houses, organizations, or persons determined to have
planned, authorized, committed, or aided the attacks that
occurred on February 5, 2006, or harbored such organizations
or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of
aggression against the house.
Brothers, sisters – sons and daughters of the motherland –
the honor of Tufts has been slighted. Go forth, and show
them her wrath.
The Commander in Chief and President of the United Floors of
Tufts.
From: (Armoskus's email address)
Subject: Crusade
O righteous men and women of Tufts,
The forces of evil have struck against us. These
past days, the infidels of Thompson have laid waste to our
lounge and our showers. They have violated our land and
besmirched our honor. They have violated the Commandments of
God and His wrath will be swift and merciless:
Thus says the Lord God: I, I myself am coming against you; I
will execute judgments among you in the sight of the
nations. And because of all your abominations, I will do to
you what I have never yet done, and the like of which I will
never do again. Surely, parents shall eat their children in
your midst, and children shall eat their parents; I will
execute judgments on you, and any of you who survive I will
scatter to every wind. Therefore, as I live, says the Lord
God, surely because you have defiled my sanctuary with all
your detestable things and with all your abominations –
therefore I will cut you down; my eye will not spare, and I
will have no pity.
-- Ezekial 5:8-11
Those who have ears, hear: We must follow the word
of God, and strike back against these non-believers. All who
are able must rise up together and act to fulfill His will.
Act in the name of the Lord and punish those who have sinned
against him. Fear no mortal agency’s retribution, for it is
a higher power we must obey. We shall not rest until they
have realized the error of their ways and repented those
sins they have committed.
Chris "believes in a vengeful God" Armoskus
From: (Jack's email address)
Subject: Attention, My Brethren,
Al Hamdulillah! Al Hamdulillah! Al Hamdulillah! Allahu
Akbar! Allahu akbar!
....the word of the Almighty and Hasrat I Isa is upon us! My
blood, proud and holy, is boiling under the disgrace of a
thousand and one full moons! Jihad is inevitable against the
heathen! All praise the forgiveness and generosity of the
Almighty, so that we may, with a swift blow, bring these
poor, tortured souls peace of mind! Not unlike the Malayan
fire ants, with their duty of sanctifying the sin-laden
world of insects, we shall cleanse the world of such human
swine! Bismillah Ir-Rahman Ir-Rahim, Insha'llah Allahu
Akbar! The Great Satan will perish; on the name of my Holy
Blade, Osamma, I swear upon it!
Yes, brothers, with our souls and blood we redeem you, O
Palestine. This is the decision of the people of exceeding
strength. This is a sacred bond. We are up to this duty. You
know I am saying this because I know our people. I know what
it means that in the midst of this crisis, yet none of them
complained. However, they said: Allah is great! Glory to
Allah and his prophet! Jihad, jihad, jihad, jihad, jihad!
"O ye who believe! what is the matter with you, that, when
ye are asked to go forth in the cause of Allah, ye cling
heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to
the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as
compared with the Hereafter. Unless ye go forth, He will
punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your
place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For Allah
hath power over all things. Unless ye go forth, He will
punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your
place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For Allah
hath power over all things," (Surah 9:38-39).
Peace and Godspeed,
Jack "1/4 Arab" Chua
From: Samuel Haddaway (!) (It bore Sam's email address, too)
Subject: State of the Union
Comrades,
My brothers have spoken well and they have spoken truth. Religion, throughout history, is often the breeding ground of such fervor set to inspire King and countrymen. I, however, take a different tact.
In the words of Lincoln,
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here; while it can never forget what they did here. "
Gettysburg, hallowed by the men who fought and died there, has forever remained such a place. We now, fellow countrymen, find ourselves at a similar point in our own history and the question of inspiration looms large. It is time to assess the state of our own union and we must relish at the opportunity that our actions can aspire to merit similar results. For when a writer sets out to compose a speech he asks for only one thing, that his words become language and the two coalesce into something beautiful. Shakespeare was a master at this and I draw upon such a speech now for our own inspiration.
"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.
For he today that sheds his blood with me,
shall be my brother, be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition."
We happy few, the words of action and the words of vengeance. Henry, the ever vengeful King, struck out with his words and his actions. Lest we forget his epithet, "once more into the breach dear friends, once more," words that inspired his Englishmen and those of Winston Churchill.
So are we Vengeful? Are we wrathful? Those who have written before me argue that through God we fuel our wrath and exert our vengeance and I draw upon those words as well. But, it is our actions, not our words that make us who we are, that define us. So act, act out against those who stand before us, who attempt to benign and beguile us. "Let those who God has joined together let no men put asunder." Here we are thus joined and here we must fight.
In closing, I draw upon the words of a poet who was so shamed by what she wrote that she hid her beauty on scraps of paper found in her drawer years after her death. Words that since then have been thought to be the perfect union of rhythm, word and language. Dickinson writes,
"Feet to the Rising and Setting may run,
They always beat on the same small stone."
Run well Tufts,
Ben Gerdes
Mark figured a more peaceful approach was necessary:
From: (Mark's email address)
Subject: Re: Crusade
But let us not forget the New Testament where we are told to
forgive others if they repent and we should forgive
"seventy-seven times" (Matt 18:22) If Thompson repents we
should forgive them (a nice way for them to repent is give us
their piano or oven or build us a tire swing or give us a
football) If Thompson does not repent then it is our duty to
point out the sin that they have committed. "If your brother
sins against you go and show him his fault, just between the
two of you. If he listens you have won your brother over.
But if he will not listen take one or two others along...If he
will not listen to them tell it to the church and if he
refuses to even listen to the church, treat him as you would a
pagan..."(matt 18:15-18). Let us give Thompson a chance to
repent and if they don’t then the wrath of God may come to
them but it is important not to confuse ourselfs with God.
Mark “Belives in a forgiving God” Berberian
PS Where is my football
Then we got 4 emails from Ben Varnum, each bearing a different name:
From: Jachibald Chua
Subject: Couch Resolution
Dear Tufts House,
I've changed my mind. We don't really need to attack anyone
outside the house. It's a great week, as a matter of fact, to
buckle down and focus on our studies; I know I'm behind on my
reading for a few classes, and I bet you are too!
Sorry if my previous zeal offended anyone.
Hugs and kisses,
Jack Chua
From: Christoberg Armoskus
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
Jack is right . . . I also am in favor of a peaceful
resolution to this situation. After all, nothing too bad has
happened. I'm much more concerned about what video games we
should be playing.
With all sincerity,
Chris Armoskus
From: Ben Toutashape Gerdes
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
My delicious comrades are right.
Sean, we don't need war. We ought to think about how we can
all live together in harmony.
Tastily,
Gerdes
From: Seanathon Robinson
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
In light of the recent democratic impulse in favor of not
plunging ourselves or our house into further inanity, I hereby
use my wartime powers to abolish the clauses for wartime
powers within the constitution, and thereafter declare the war
over!
Everyone's a winner, now come to Seanstaafl for some great
disgusting fruit snacks and no gatorade!
Please don't impeach me,
Sean Robinson
Followed one from Ben Varnum in his own name,
From: Benedict Varnum
Subject: Re: Couch Resolution
Always nice to see sound judgment and good moral principle
winning out over blatant public jackassery, guys. Keep up the
good work.
Ben
This will, of course, stop absolutely noone.
And that's where things currently stand.
-Sniffnoy
